A New Beginning

Transfer

2006-02-01T17:06:00.000-05:00

hey guys. I've gotten a new blog. YOu are all invited to read my ramblings there.
It is myownlife.wordpress.com. It works a little more like a website. Hope to hear from you all soon.

Christina

Update--it's been a while.

2005-12-12T14:23:00.000-05:00

I'm tired. I'm really excited because I finally got some of my papers done. Once again I tripped and fell while writing my essays and then I dragged myself to the finish line, sometimes after everyone else had been gone for weeks. But the good thing is I don't think it will affect my grades too much.

I'm so sad. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my stepdad's death. I still miss him and I still cry. I don't think a day goes by without me remembering him and everything that happened. I'm upset that I can't be there with my mother. I know she will be okay but I wish I was able to be there to support her and not just over the phone.

I'm happy. My marriage, that has been great. We get along very well, even through our rare fights. They are never anything serious and we usually end up laughing.
I used to have a few doubts about our timing but now I'm glad we went ahead and got married in July. It's the best thing I ever did and I don't regret anything about it.

I'm stressed. We don't have enough money to go home for Christmas. It sucks, it makes me sad and then things in general have been stressed financially. I even missed a few payments on my credit card. Hopefully, I'll be caught up soon.

I have another break in January. I think we'll be able to go home then. then i'll get to see my family and friends.

anyway, must go write another paper.

I forgot to include my tip for college students

2005-10-31T13:34:00.000-05:00

Tip: when you are using a knife and your mom isn't there to watch out for you, make sure that when someone calls out your name, you either put the knife down, or finish before you look up. Otherwise you might realize that knives can cut even through your nails. I have lost half of my nail and the skin under it, this is my proof.

Update from Harvard.

2005-10-31T13:21:00.000-05:00

OK, I just finished my 1st round of midterms. I had 3 of them, one on Thursday and two this morning. I am very confident about my work on two of them, the other one is borderline. There is just too much to know about Job and his contemporaries.

On the other hand, life has been great, unfortunately, I am not a bookkeeper any longer. I had to fire myself, for not doing the job properly. I wasn't putting enough hours in to be fair to the company. It was a great job but it was too stressful for me and the 10minute ride to central square, really made it harder to get there after a long day of studying and classes. So, I let my boss know that the job was not the best fit for me. All is well, hopefully soon, I will have a new job to tell you all about.

On the other hand, my marriage is going great. Halloween happens to be our three month anniversary, special, I know. I am glad to say, that we have not had any major disagreements and that even though life has thrown us a few curve balls, we haven't struck out yet. So far, I love being married. On the other hand, this is only to be done by professionals, don't try this at home. Seriously, what I'm saying is even though it is working out for me, it is not easy and college life for most of you will be a lot less stressful without that added responsibility.

PLEA TO COLLEGE STUDENTS:
I have a new bright idea, oh, I get a lot of them they just mostly don't materialize. I am thinking that it would be a good idea, if we as sunset graduates came up with a way to relay back to our students still in high school what we have learned and how great college is. I will be sending out an email soon, to all of you who I have email addresses for. Please feel free to send me any ideas you have been thinking of, as well. You can post them here, email me, or reply to my email.

Teachers, students, let us know what you want.

Well, now Congratulations to me!

2005-10-12T14:15:00.000-05:00

I've got a job. I'm really excited! I'm working as the bookkeeper at Cambridge Transcriptions, A company here in Boston. My first day was yesterday, and I spent it reconciling accounts just like Mrs. Toney taught me. I loved it and I hope I do a good job there.

Congratulations! (not to me)

2005-10-04T13:04:00.000-05:00

Well. It has been about a week since I last posted and I find that what I would most like to do is to congratulate a few different people.

First of all, my sister Mayra, for getting great grades on her report card this first six-weeks. I am really proud of her for trying so hard and accomplishing her goal.

To, Selene, my other sister, for her consistent good grades and her dedication to softball. I hope she makes it very far, I know she can. And for the information of our readers, she would like to go to UT Austin and she looks up to Cat Osterman, the pitcher there.

Yay! sisters!

I would also like to congratulate my best friend, Diana, for recently finding a job. You are awesome!

To the freshman in college from Sunset, most of you have been in college about a month now, and have written your first college paper. Congratulations. May there be many more months, hopefully not too many papers.

The biggest congratulations go out to my freshman professor of physics. Professor Roy J. Glauber. I know he won't read this but I am very proud of him. It sounds a bit weird, I know, but I am. He is an awesome professor who did his best to help me throught the class. I spent many an hour in his office utterly confused about the characteristics of light. And the big news is, he has just won a 2005 Nobel Prize in Physics. He is a wonderful man, who following a party by his colleagues, this morning walked to the other side of campus to teach his freshman seminar. He just found out last night.

By the Way, My favorite lecture, included him standing on top of some funny machine that vibrated and turned and just spinning around the classroom with his hair sticking up. It was hilarious.

here is a link to an article about it in the Harvard Gazzette: http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/daily/2005/10/04-glauber.html

Congratulations Professor Glauber

until next time...

Yay!

2005-09-28T12:28:00.000-05:00

I'm just excited and I couldn't think of a better title. The reason? who knows? life in general.

This is the second week of the semester. I have discovered that this year, I enjoy the reading for my courses a lot better. I take way better notes. I have also discovered that typing up my notes 2 or 3 hours after class, clarifies the material and reveals what I am confused about. This helps because I can then review the reading, email the professor, ask the TF, or whatever other method I choose, all before the next lecture. This means I don't become even more lost.

Note to new college students: Lectures make a lot more sense when you do the reading before going to class. I promise. The information actually stays in your mind and you realize the professor is actually not disorganized.

My classes are all going well. I did not take the Mozart class because it seemed a bit too challenging. Still impressive but I did not want to set myself up for too much work during my first semester back at Harvard. I have, however, dropped in on a few lectures. Nobody here takes attendance so they don't care if I'm there or not.

Decisions and the President of Zambia

2005-09-21T14:03:00.000-05:00

I have now decided what courses to take. The final load looks like this.

African and African American Studies 139. The African American Experience in Latin America and the Spanish Caribbean

Literature and Arts A-70. The Book of Job and the Joban Tradition

Psychology 15. Social Psychology

*Sociology 128. Paradigms of Social Inquiry

The classes sound and look amazing.

As for the second part of my title. Yesterday, at 7pm I got to hear and see the President of Zambia speak. He spoke to students in my house about the changes in Zambia since the beginning of his government and what he feels the necessary changes are in the future. It was amazing to see. Even more amazing was that he took an hour afterwards to answer any of our questions. That my friends, is the Harvard experience. We were in a small room and there were about 100 of us there. Yay, Harvard!

End of the Day

2005-09-19T14:51:00.000-05:00

My day started at 6:40 am. I made lunch for Timothy, saw him off and then got in the shower. I was out the door by 8am. I was on campus by 8:20 am. I checked my email and posted and then left for a prayer meeting in the Freshman dining hall. Most of us didn't actually have a class until 10am so we stayed there just talking about the year to come, and courses we were shopping.

I had an awesome morning.

I failed at shopping both of my 10am courses but heard enough of one to discard it from the list, that was Historical Study B-64. The Cuban Revolution, 1956-1971: A Self-Debate. The professor was monotonous and boring, and the reading list long and complicated. I will return to Literature and Arts A-35. Tragic Drama and Human Conflict on wednesday, hopefully this time I can get in the door.

My required course was interesting. It seems a lot easier than when I took it in the fall of sophomore year. We even have a textbook, that's a rarity for a Harvard course. It seems like it will be fun and as interactive as you want to make it. The Paradigms of Social Inquiry.

The next two courses were at 12am. I only made it to one. It was too interesting for me to get up and leave to go to another course. It was Literature and Arts A-70. The Book of Job and the Joban Tradition. I can only say that the course seeks to answer some of the most prevalent and problematic questions of all time under the understanding that maybe we can't anwer them.

The last course was, of course, the one I talked about in my previous post.

I have no clue which ones I am going to end up taking.

In Awe

2005-09-19T14:17:00.000-05:00

I have just returned from shopping my last class. I can't help but sigh and wonder how. The last class I shopped was Literature and Arts B-52 "Mozart". The course guide described it as

Literature and Arts B-52. Mozart (New Course)

Robert D. Levin
The course will examine a different domain of Mozart's oeuvre each time it is taught, starting in 2005 with the piano concertos. The origin of Mozart's concerto form (aria structure, Baroque concertos) precedes study of a representative selection of the 21 original Mozart concertos for piano and orchestra-the largest corpus of such works by any master composer. Style and rhetoric will be central concerns, and attention will be given to evolution in interpretative style through listening to historic as well as recent recordings. The assigned works will be demonstrated by live performances by the professor with several Harvard student orchestras.

What I found was a person who blew me away. The lectures are scheduled at Sanders theatre. Only about 200 people showed up. I walked in and saw musical notes on the overhead and almost ran for the door. However, I had nowhere to go, it was my last class of the day.

The class began as usual with a short description of the course and an overview of the syllabus. Prof Levin then started giving us a list of number of works Mozart composed over his life and those composed by Bach, in comparison. Mozart did much more, is what I gathered. "Bach's 9 symphonies to Mozart's 20. Bach's __ to Mozarts____". It went on and on. Honestly, I was getting quite bored. Then he started explaining and playing cadenzas. I was half asleep when he started to talk about it so I didn't know what the word was until the end of the class.

Wikepedia defines it as "A cadenza is usually now taken to mean a portion near the end of a movement of a concerto in which the orchestra stops playing, leaving the soloist to play alone in free time (without a strict, regular pulse). At the end of the cadenza, the orchestra re-enters, and generally finishes off the movement on their own. ".

It turns out that Mozart wrote 27 piano concertos. In each most he left the part of the cadenza blank because he liked to improvise at his concerts. He would write out the parts for the orchestra but leave his blank.

Here is the kicker. My Professor, Dr. Robert Levin, at least I hope to take the class, is a world known piano soloist. Even more than that, he is considered such an expert in Mozart's music that he has completed several of Mozart's unfinished pieces and his completions are played all over the world. Furthermore, those cadenzas that Mozart played, well no one knows what those were but Dr. Robert Levin has such a knowledge of Mozart and such a talent that he too plays those cadenzas improvised. At the last minute he plays whatever comes to his mind. Read this article to find out more http://homepages.kdsi.net/~sherman/levinstagebill.htm, he is trully amazing.

The class consists of him playing cadenzas for us in an effort to help us understand a little bit about Mozart. He plays and then explains the different structural parts of Mozart's pieces. It is amazing.

Grrrr.

2005-09-19T09:44:00.000-05:00

40 minutes into my shopping period. I have not shopped the two classes I wanted to shop. Apparently, both courses were new, and enrollment didn't predict appropriately. For Lit & Arts A-35, they got a lecture hall for about 80 people, however, about 200 people showed up. I couldn't even get in the door. For Hist-Studies B-64, they got a lecture hall for about 200 people and had about 300 show up. I got in the door, but only standing room. I couldn't hear the professor, so I left. I plan to shop both courses on Wednesday, when, I hope, people will have become disinterested in them and I can have a seat. On to the next classes. 4 to go.

Shopping!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-19T07:29:00.000-05:00

Today is the day! I get to start shopping. Things have changed a little bit. There are six classes that I am planning to shop. 2 @10am, 1 @11am, 2 @12pm, and 1 @1pm. I'm so excited.

The one I'm most excited about shopping is about tragedy throughout time. The reading list includes, Medea, Hamlet, King Lear, Oedipus Rex, Oresteia, MacBeth and Long Day's Journey. It sounds incredible. It's called Tragic Drama and Human Conflict. I'll let you all know how it went at the end of the day. The annoying part about shopping classes is that you have to take notes for six classes, just in case you happen to stick with it.

Gotta run, going to a prayer meeting.

Returning to Harvard.

2005-09-16T12:29:00.000-05:00

Many people were concerned that I would not be returning to Harvard, ever. For the comfort of those people, I never considered the thought.

I felt ready to return to Harvard this semester so I talked to my Senior Tutor and arranged for him to petition the AdBoard on my behalf. I was required to undergo psychiatric evaluation, and to write a statement. This statement had to describe what I did while I was away, why I feel I am ready to return, and what my plans are upon returning. Here is a copy of that statement.

Dear Ad Board,

I am petitioning to return to school this fall semester of 2005. I know I am ready to return and I feel like the issues surrounding my leave have been resolved.

When I left Harvard I was utterly confused about what I wanted from Harvard and what my purpose here was. I had slacked off as a result of my depression and my anxiety over my ability to succeed here. I was even more worried about the wellbeing of my family after the death of my stepfather. I left here with the intent of helping my family and running away from my problems here at Harvard, for a while.

When I left, I was most worried about my mother who was completely shut out from the world. Aside from the grief of my step father’s death, we now had more expenses than before and less income, as well as a deportation order for my mother. My sister, Mayra, was more than ready to drop out of school, and my younger sister, Selene, had not expressed any grief since my step father’s death. I was worried about all of them. I simply tried to be there to support them through what they were experiencing.

I spent the first few months just helping around the house with the cooking and cleaning, though not very good at it. Together, as a family, we went through the ups and downs of grieving for someone you love and adore. We talked and cried, and at some points just chose to forget but we were always there for each other. Through all the grief, financial strain, and immigration problems I was able to evaluate my own life and problems; my depression and anxiety at school.

It was recommended that I seek psychiatric help while away on leave. One of the concerns was my lack of health insurance due to financial hardship; Harvard Financial Aid made a special exception to provide those funds necessary for my continued coverage. However, I had already missed the cobra coverage deadline by the time I received word of the approval. I did not know what to do and was at that point completely devastated by everything that was going on. I had never had health insurance before college and I did not see it as urgent, especially not in comparison to everything else going on; I chose to concentrate on family. My little sister got involved with a community softball league and I spent most of my days practicing with her and driving her to and from practices and games. It was truly the thing that kept me from sinking into depression once again, seeing her play and fight at a sport she loved and getting to know her as a person. Though only 14, she became my confidant, I told her everything that scared me and saddened me about home and about Harvard. I was the only one going to her games and she was the only one I trusted to listen. She, with her simplicity, helped me understand and deal with my fear of failure. With her encouragement I started writing and interviewing for jobs, two things I was afraid of during the first few months. My writing improved and I landed a job as an intern at a Dallas High School.

The last few months of Senior year, I had started dating a guy from another high school. My father had set a rule that we were not to date until we were 18; I was the only one to follow the rule. I left for college and continued my relationship with him. After his freshman year in college he moved to Boston. We were considering marriage when I took my leave of absence. We were constantly praying for the right timing. We were hoping I could take a break between Junior and Senior year to plan the wedding and either marry that summer or the summer after college. After the events that took place we decided that since I was already taking a break and we didn't see any other reason to wait, we would get married. I realize it seems like a drastic step but it is one that I felt and feel completely ready for. As of this moment, we both feel my education is the first priority. He is more that supportive of my education and we plan to stay in Boston until I graduate. I realize this will change things but I feel it will be for the best. He has pushed me when I was slacking and supported me when I was falling. He was my best friend long before we even dreamed of dating.

After those two events, things finally advanced. I was finally able to see my life from a different perspective. I was working with high school students that were older than me and trying to finally get out of high school, with their last chance. I saw many give up but a handful that spent every ounce of energy and time they had to master the skills and subjects that had defeated them countless times before. I realized that there was nothing wrong with failing, even repeatedly failing, as long as I was trying and giving it my best shot. That is where I had failed, not in my abilities or skills, but in trying. In my fear of failing, I had sold myself short and not tried. I buried myself in self pity and fear. That was my turning point, this is, I want to continue at Harvard and make the best of the opportunities I was blessed with. I understand God put me here for a reason and I want to follow his will. I am ready to set my fears aside because “the Lord, my God, will never leave me nor forsake me”.

My Senior Tutor said the board unanimously voted to allow me to return. I couldn't have been more grateful.

Courses for this Fall

2005-09-16T12:04:00.000-05:00

Well, with school starting on Monday, I am praying that God guide my selection of courses. Unlike most colleges, at Harvard you are not told what courses you have to take, and you have an opportunity to "shop" classes before deciding to enroll in them. This is all in an effort to cultivate scholars. The first week of school you are free to attend any class you are interested in; the professors become salesmen, you become the customers. They do their best to make you think they are the smartest person alive, and their class, the most interesting in the entire world. At the end of this apparently endless week of circus tricks, you are then charged with deciding which 4 or 5 courses you want to commit to for the semester.

As a sophomore sociology concentrator I am required to take

*Sociology 128. Paradigms of Social Inquiry

Description: Reviews sociological methods and the questions to which each is best suited. Readings exemplify statistical, ethnographic, and historical approaches. Stresses logic and reasoning, not particular statistical methods.Note: Required of concentrators.

I am not sure what to take for my other three courses. Here is a list of the courses I am planning to shop:

African and African American Studies 139. The African American Experience in Latin America and the Spanish Caribbean

Description: The experience of the people of African descent in the Americas is not broadly understood. This class will look at the culture, history, politics, and identity of "African Americans" in the Spanish and Lusophone Caribbean, South America, and Central America. Countries examined will include Cuba, Brazil, Columbia, Mexico, Nicaragua, the Dominican Republic, Venezuela, and Puerto Rico. We will also explore issues of identity in the context of migration to the US.
THIS EXCERPT FROM THE SYLLABUS IS WHAT SCARES ME.

One page summaries of the readings will be 25% of your grade. You will be asked to complete 5 one page summaries on articles read in the class due the day of class. In addition you will be asked to select two countries and turn in a three to four page paper on the countries you have chosen. These papers will be 25% of your final grade. Finally, you will be asked to take the two short papers you have done and fuse them together into a final 10 page comparative paper between the two countries or perspectives you examined earlier. This final assignment will represent 50% of your final grade. Please do not wait until the last minute.

Literature and Arts A-70. The Book of Job and the Joban Tradition

An examination of the biblical book of Job along with related texts, ancient, medieval, and modern, that allow us to establish the literary and philosophical traditions in which Job was composed and the literary and philosophical legacy it has left. Particular focus on the ways the texts play off one another in literary form and expression and in their treatment of such themes as divine justice, human piety, and the nature of the divine-human encounter.

Psychology 1. Introduction to Psychology

Surveys the scientific study of human psychology. Introduces students to topics such as perception, consciousness, development, cognition, emotion, motivation, psychopathology, decision making, and social behavior.

Psychology 15. Social Psychology

An introduction to social psychological research and theory regarding everyday behavior. Topics include: social influence, attitude change, and obedience to authority; stereotyping and prejudice; social cognition; social interaction and group processes; interpersonal attraction; prosocial behavior; and everyday human judgment. We also discuss applications of social psychology to law, politics, education, and health.

I need to add a few more, but I am completely stumped. If you click on the course titles you can visit the course website, well, except for Psych 1, they require a password. Some of them have links to syllabi, let me know what you think.

Looking for a job job job job.

2005-04-11T12:21:00.000-05:00

I am looking for a job. I don't really care what as long as it has something to do with business. Accounting, real estate, banking, auditing, tax. I really don't care. I am so tired of looking for a job. And I need the money, I am completely broke and I don't like to have my mother pay for my things. It's not right, I'm 20 years old. At this point I'm ready to go to Minyard's and apply for a job, problem is that wouldn't exactly provide the career experience I need or the pay I'm used to, but it would be a job and I would earn money and get off my butt. blah.

Hi Ya'll

2005-03-03T17:45:00.000-05:00

Well, I think I'm back, again. I was going crazy for a while. But I'm all better now. I have decided to take a leave of absence from college, so I'm not in school right now. I start up again in September. I am very happy about my decision. I needed the break to rest from the stress of Harvard and to be with my family for a while.

It's weird because I feel like I don't totally fit in at home anymore, it's like I outgrew the mold. It's a really weird feeling and my sisters aren't exactly thrilled to have me back. I mean they're happy I'm here but it's been hard for them too. My mom's doing a lot better than she was before.

I am finally back in Dallas, and though I'm taking the semester off, I'm still getting financial aid to cover my health insurance. It's awesome and it makes me feel safe to know they care that much about me and my wellbeing at school.

Anyway, I hope to post again soon.

Christina

TIRED!! :-(

2005-01-11T19:03:00.000-05:00

I am sooo tired. I got back late Friday night and just crashed. I was exhausted. I spent Saturday, Sunday and most of Monday learning Chapters 12-16 of my calculus book in order to do the homework that was due before midnight on Monday. I wasn't here when they went over those chapters so I was behind. The worst part was that it mostly dealt with logarithms and exponential functions, something I never quite grasped in high school. The good news is that my super math genius blockmate helped me through most of it and for the first time I can say that I understand logarithms. I was so proud of myself. :-)

Now. I have to focus. I have two papers due on the 14th; one is a final paper and the other is a make up for a paper I still hadn't turned in. Meanwhile in my other sociology class I must also work on another final paper that has a TBA due date. Originally, it was due today at noon. I couldn't make that deadline and get the others done so I had to ask for an extension. If I hadn't gone home early I would have gotten all the research done before I left but I did. Unfortunately on my computer at home I couldn't view most of the documents I needed to write my paper. I love the topic:

In what ways did welfare reform work or not work? To make your case you should first provide a set of criteria by which we can evaluate the success of welfare reform, and then test this criteria against evidence from any of the following sources:

a. evidence presented in the texts we've studied in class
b. summaries of "welfare leaver" studies available at this website: http://www.ncsl.org/statefed/welfare/leavers02.htm
c. any other sources of information that you have, academic articles, or information on the web.

My other final paper is very open ended and I'm enjoying writing that one as well. I have to write a proposal for a research project I am interested in. I'm doing mine over urban education and poverty.

Anyway, right now I'm trying to relax. I'm listening to Ricardo Montaner. My final exams are the 20th and 21st.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

2004-11-25T02:20:00.000-05:00

It is now after 2am and I am just getting ready to go to bed. The turkey is in the sink with cold water. The camote is on the stove slowly cooking away. The kitchen living room and bedrooms are all spotless. And I am officially ready to sleep and wake up to preparing my first thanksgiving dinner. The most experienced of us will make the turkey and gravy and stuffing, I will make all the other stuff that goes with it, and Kathleen will be making Velveeta with cheese (she says she has it every year) , Timothy has rice-a-roni so I'm not going to comment on that. . . I'm excited. Since we are not willing to pay (actually because we can't afford it) about $100 dollars a day to go home for thanksgiving we are excited to be here.

On another note but also about cooking. I have since being here learned to make sopa, frijoles, and other essentials plus breaded chicken. Today was a special day. After 4 failed attempts over about 7 days, I have finally mastered the art of making flour tortillas. They were perfect. Ok, so beginner perfect, but perfect nonetheless, especially considering I was using a cup instead of a rolling pin. I was so excited. As you have probably guessed by now, I did not do much cooking at home, my younger sister did. I feel very accomplished.

On the academic side, things are going really well. I really wish I could take three classes every semester but that would mean staying here until the fall of '09. That I do not like, so I will just work really hard at balancing out the difficulty/workload/essays for the four or five classes I choose each semester. It will be okay but definitely not as great as this. I am not stressed out everyday, except during essay writing. And I've never been stressed by exam time/studying, I actually find that less stressful than regular class time/assignments. I also have time to have fun without feeling guilty about not studying. That I love.

Anyway, I must go to bed now. It is now about 2:30 am. And I'm tired. And getting hungry (cause I've been awake so long).

So I wish you all a wonderful night, and Happy Thanksgiving day.

May we all be grateful for the wonderful , love, family, friends, opportunities, and other things we can never remember that GOD has given us during this past year.

Heartbroken :-(

2004-11-07T21:48:00.000-05:00

I'm upset. No. I'm heartbroken. Somebody I trusted, somebody who is my friend did something stupid. Well, just irresponsible. It doesn't actually affect me. But because I care so much about her, I can't help but feel sad. I feel like my heart is breaking. I know she didn't mean to. But it just hurts. I don't know what to feel. I want to be ok. Everything is ok and she's ok. But somehow I feel sad, I feel betrayed. Yet--not angry. I thought we were in it together; I feel like a special, unspoken pact has been broken. And it's lost. And I don't know for how long.

On another note. I did well on all of the midterms I had two weeks ago. I have another Tuesday and the following Friday, I think. Anyway, I should go read/study/prepare for tomorrow.

I know it will be okay. I just hope it's okay sooner than later.

Leave of Absence

2004-10-31T10:17:00.000-05:00

hi everyone, sorry I haven't posted for a while. My leave of absence was a result of midterms, world series, and laziness. I was trying to juggle my time between those three things.

Positive Results:
Redsox Won the World Series, I went to the parade at Yackey Way(at Fenway) and on the Charles River, I was dressed in church clothes. That was the funny part. It was amazing fun. Oh, and a correction on a stupid mistake I hadn't noticed: The Redsox had gone to the World Series, they just hadn't won since 1918.

I did really well on my midterms. I got an A on the Math Midterm and the others I haven't heard from yet.

I should go read but I'll try to post again soon.

THE RED SOX ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!

2004-10-21T00:47:00.000-05:00

Being the typical Harvard Student, I was studying during most of the Red Sox game though we were keeping up with the score. Up until the 5th inning, that is, at which point, I could resist temptation no longer. I walked across the hall and watched with some avid Sox fans.

As the game was ending and we needed one more out to win. The first time since 1918 to make it to the World Series, it suddenly hit me.!!! I was experiencing history. This was a once in a lifetime event. Something you remember forever. In case you haven't noticed, I am a sox fan, there is no other way.

When the game was over, the crowd I was with was eerily quiet. We were all Sox fans but it was a very shocking moment. It was like we hoped for it so long that when it happened, it was surreal. We muted the sound on the TV to hear what we expected to be massive hysteria from the streets. There were, however, no unusual, out of the ordinary noises. It was almost as if everyone was sitting there, staring at their television, in awe of the event that had just unfolded before our very eyes.

My roommate and I decided to go see if maybe we could find some wild entirely over ecstatic fans. We walked out of our dorm and looked right and left and all we could see were dark, deserted streets. There was no one there. No one. We started walking towards our house, thinking maybe we could find some real commotion there. On the way over we kept searching for a bit of that action we hungered to see. But it was all silent. There were of course those rare elated fans running past us. But overall nothing. As we got closer to the house there was still nothing. We were beginning to think that Boston, well that it was confused. It was such a new concept that maybe they didn't know how to react to it.

We turned away from the house and decided to walk to Harvard Square. If there was anything going on, it would be there. As we got closer we heard more and more and more shrieks, shouts, screams, and hollers. We started believing that maybe we had just been looking in the "wrong place and the wrong time".

We got to the square and there were about 100 people and a lot of police. It seemed like people were celebrating. But there were no riotous signs and no hysteria. Just very happy people. We stood there and took a few pictures, we couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed that people were not very excited. We started to walk away when out of nowhere appears a band. They seemed to be running to something but as they got closer they jumped on top of the Subway station and started playing their horns. And suddenly we started to see throngs, no floods of people running toward the square. In a matter of seconds we were packed between hundreds and hundreds of hysterical Red Sox fans. The streets were blocked by mobs of people jumping and dancing to the tunes of the band and the police were blocking of the streets. Not stopping the disorder but encouraging it. It became so overwhelming that we couldn't move, or hear, or talk, or think. It was just "WOW!".

As we walked back home 5 minutes later we couldn't shake a feeling of general well being. It was as if there were suddenly a moment when nothing in the world could be better.

And as I'm sitting here now, I can hear fireworks, and honkings, and hollering fans. And it's soothing. I love IT!!!!!!

Loong Weekend

2004-10-20T15:14:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone,
Sorry for the relatively long absence. I was trying to think things out a bit.

I had a midterm today. That wasn't so great. Especially since I felt really out of it, like I'm about to catch a cold. It was really weird. But I think I at least passed and there are still 2 more midterms for the same class so I'll be okay.

I have decided that dropping a class is the best option for me right now. I have too much to think about and too many hours of class. I'm going to drop Chinese. I don't really need to learn another language right now anyway. My decision was made after gathering a consensus from my psychologist, counselor, Senior Tutor, Resident Tutor, Concentration Advisor, and Non-concentration advisor. Wow, I didn't realize that was that many people. I'm withdrawing but my senior tutor is going to go petition so that it can be counted as a dropped course, (I missed the deadline by two days) and it won't go on my record. Hopefully, that will work. If it doesn't, I don't really mind. My grades testify to the fact that one more bad grade would not have been the end of the world.

On the issue of the Mental Health Services, it seems that when I was referred to the psychiatrist there was already a consensus that I was suffering from major depression issues. I hadn't come to grips with it but, gratefully, I have now. The doctor prescribed medication and we have a follow up meeting this Monday. I started taking the Wellbutrin today. It's not supposed to really make a difference until about 4-6 weeks. And if you ask me, that's a really long time. But if it works, I will be really pleased. It hasn't had any serious side effects, it did give me a small headache but I was told to expect that for the first few days. It still feels a bit odd to be taking medication but if it helps, I'm all for it. Thanks to everyone for their support in this weird but difficult time. I wish I had realized it sooner, but I'm glad I have now.

I love you all and I'll keep ya'll posted. God Bless.

Oooh, I ran the spell check and it didn't recognize "Wellbutrin". It wanted to replace it with elevators. It was really funny because, in a way, that's what it does. That's hilarious.

Thank You!!

2004-10-14T20:05:00.000-05:00

Well, I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone for being soo supportive. I've got my appointment with "Mental Health Services" on Tuesday. Hopefully everything will go well.

On another note, I loved ballet class today. Finally all the things that I learned years ago came back. I remembered so much more technique and I remembered all my arm positions, it was awesome. And my body felt better than it has in a long time. It was really difficult for me to give up dance for academics my junior year and though I was glad I did, my body suffered a lot. I gained 30 pounds in 3 years (mostly in college). I don't want to loose all of that, I must have been a stick, but I want to be in shape again. Ballet is really helping me relieve a lot of stress.

Oooh, today I went to talk to my TF about the problems I've been having and why I haven't appeared to be very interested in the class. She was really understanding and we worked out a few things to help me keep going. The AMAZING thing was that she remembered me, even though I've never uttered a word in class or section, out of all 73 people in the class. It was all because of my paper. Apparently I was the only person who really seemed to grasp the concepts being asked in the question, I was the only one to get an A. I was sooo extremely excited. I haven't gotten anything higher than a C on any paper here and no comment even close to that. I still can't believe that. I didn't expect that in a million years.

Guess What.

2004-10-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

I have to go to the doctor. Well not a doctor but the crazy people doctor. My counselor thinks I might be depressed and she wants me to get "evaluated". She's says it seems like more than just stress. That it seems like a cycle of ups and downs. And I have to confess, I've skipped lots of classes to do nothing because I don't have the energy to go. And I let go of stuff with out wanting to. It's like one day I'm all good and organized and the next day I'm not and I'm a slob and I oversleep when I went to bed at 9pm and I don't feel like making the effort to get dressed and "pretty" even though I'm a mess. And then I start eating everything in my kitchen and start lying to people about the wonderful classes I had when I didn't really go. And I tell people I got my work done when I didn't. Or I start snapping at people when they question me. Of course on this blog I just don't talk about it if I don't want to. But I just have a hard time thinking that I could be depressed. I've just always felt skeptical about that sort of thing. Does everyone need to take medication or see someone when they feel down. It's not like I have anything to be upset about. My parents are fine, school is good, I'm not stressed out. I just don't know.

Anyway, I'm sorry I went and told all of you my sappy story. I just finished talking to my counselor and my roommates and I thought since it's something that happens to more than one college student that I should let you all know. And I'm going to make the appointment right now and then I should work. I'm really behind and I haven't gone to chinese for two days. Not good.

Where's Ana?

2004-10-12T21:50:00.000-05:00

It's so weird, I can't find Ana. Usually, I see traces of her in this world we call blogsphere. But today, I can't find her. No comments. No Posts. No Insults. No Ideas. No Questions. No asking me where I've been. I feel like I've lost my reason to blog. Okay not that bad, but Ana, as soon as you read this, which will hopefully be soon, Say hi. Love you take care. And to anyone else I haven't heard from in a while, drop me a note.

2004-10-12T11:47:00.000-05:00

Me and Tim

three hours of sleep last night.

2004-10-12T07:49:00.000-05:00

i am so tired. i stayed up most of the night finishing my homework. Professors assume that since we have an extra day they should double homework. It's insane. Anyway, I've learned many chinese characters now. i felt like a little kid when they send you home with the worksheets to learn how to write the letters. I'm doing the same thing except with characters. It's really fun but I have to go to class now. Bye.

A bit Tired

2004-10-11T14:49:00.000-05:00

I wish I could have gone shopping with my roommate. Not that I had any money to spend but just to get out of here. I'm tired of being at Harvard, I need to get out into Boston. But I can't. I still haven't finished my paper. I'm working on it, don't worry. And I'm almost done. I guess it's a good thing there were no classes today. Good ol' holiday.

Anyway, I must get back to work. I'll check in later.

Check it Out!!

2004-10-10T17:26:00.000-05:00

Check it out! I've started adding links in my sidebar. Yes, I'm procrastinating, but it only took a few minutes.

AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-10-10T13:12:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm trying to be good and write my essay before it is due. But my roommate has three of her friends staying here from Mount Holyoke, and they are being sooooo loud!! I can't concentrate at all. They are just sitting here blabbing in Chinese and I feel so frustrated that I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be writing about. GRRRRR!!!!!!!. Hopefully things will get better. I'm going to go shower, see if that will help.

2004-10-08T12:58:00.000-05:00

This is certainly how i feel right now. All tied up.

Okay, Okay.

2004-10-08T12:55:00.000-05:00

Ana, this was quicker than the weekend and that's just because I don't feel like studying my Chinese homework. bleh. I am really tired and I can't wait for today to end. I have a 3 day weekend ahead of me but I also have my first essay of the year to write. That is not quite as fun, actually I feel horrible about it. It's one of the few Harvard experiences that still make me shudder in fear. I feel afraid every time I write an essay, especially when the professor specifically says he does not tolerate grammatical mistakes. When I heard that I felt really bad. I still haven't gone to talk to him about it, even though I know I should. The good thing about him is that he wants us to write like it was for a general audience. That means I don't have to come up with tons of big words to use and I can feel a bit more comfortable.

I am talking to this psychologist lady about the writing stuff and she got me a writing tutor. But the problem is he can't help me unless I start writing something and that's another problem. I dread the mistakes so much that I can't clear my mind enough to actually write something. I'll get over it eventually, I just need to keep trying different things.

Anyway, My week was tolerable, though not the best. And Janet I promise I will work on your essay this weekend.

Supreme Court Justice

2004-09-28T21:49:00.000-05:00

Today was awesome. Besides starting my ballet class which, by the way, was awesome. I remember why I quit the first time--hardwork. Anyway the big thing was that I won a ticket to go see Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (Ska-lee-ah, for those of you who can relate to my pronunciation problems). It was an awesome talk, he's a great speaker. The entire time I couldn't get over the fact that there were only nine of them in the entire country and not that many more in history and I was sitting less than 20 feet from him. Gosh, it was an amazing opportunity. His speech was mainly about the need for America to update its system of judges and how they can't be expected to "answer the moral questions of society" that no one else can, they can only enforce the written law not the morality.

I leave you with three quotes I caught from his speech and the subsequent questions.

"My court created, God I hate the term, 'a living constitution".

"One shudders to think what kind of turmoil will meet the next election to Supreme Court Justice".

This is my favorite though not as deep as the prior two: "That's my explanation, it's the only one that makes sense".

School is Awesome

2004-09-27T18:58:00.000-05:00

Chinese is amazing fun! I can say only a few things but enough to keep me entertained. I can't believe I'm learning another language. My other classes are also very interesting, of course nothings offsets all the reading and work I have to do.

I am sorry for still not finishing the questions I had planned to ask of students visiting my page, it's coming.

Thanks to everyone for being there for me, I totally appreciate it.

I shall go read, The Pecking Order.

Second day of classes.

2004-09-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

I loved Chinese. I am going to get a Chinese name. Awesome!!!

I also went to my Paradigms of Social Inquiry class. It was very cool, a lot better than I expected. It looks like it will have awesome readings.

I will be posting 5-7 questions on this blog during the next few days. I need as many people as possible to answer them. They are going to be about college students visiting Sunsets. I need to know what you all want to hear about. So keep checking.

First Day of Classes :-)

2004-09-20T21:11:00.002-05:00

This was the first day of my second year at the oldest university in America. I loved it. I shopped for courses (It's a Harvard thing. It means we don't register for classes until we visit them and decide we like the material and the professor. Sort of cool). I woke up at 7:00 to beat my 3 roommates to the shower, and had a wonderful breakfast at the best house on campus (Kirkland). I then got into the good stuff. I shopped five courses. I love shopping. I'm only keeping two ( the limit is four, but I still have TTh classes to look at). The list for today included: Introduction to Functions and Calculus I; Introduction to the Principles of Chemistry; Introduction to Social Inequality; Culture Power and Inequality; and Poverty, Public Policy, and Controversy. I kept the green colored ones. hehehe, i love color. I'm excited about those two classes the professor for the Sociology one (the second green one, if you happen to be lost) is about 28 and she had an awesome lecture plus I've read two of the books for another class. Considering my GPA, I need all the help I can get.

My first year wasn't so hot. My GPA is not something I feel I can brag about, though I am totally proud of it. (2.35 for those that are curious).

I love my new place. I have 3 roommates in a 2 bedroom dorm apartment, that means we have a kitchen and 1 and 1/2 bathrooms. It is totally cool. I love cooking instead of going to the House for Clam Chowder.

Tomorrow I hope to be totally enthralled in Elementary Modern Chinese and The Paradigms of Social Inquiry.

If there are still any Sunset students around that read my almost forgotten blog, I need your

help. I need input on what you want from me. I want to go back to Sunset in the Spring and

speak to the students in an informal environment, maybe with Ice Cream or Pizza or

something better. But my question is what do you want to know about and who do you want

to hear it from. I'm the nerd so only a few nerds would be interested in my opinions but

maybe I could get other Sunset graduate, college students involved. I know of a few at

A&M, UT, SMU, UNT, TWU, one at BYU, Nebraska, maybe I could have some other dallas public

school graduates at other major schools. Maybe you want to hear from the old people that are

now working. Anything!!! ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME!!! IF YOU THINK I AM TOTALLY

INSANE OR BORING, TELL ME!!!

Speechless

2004-08-13T14:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, the big bosses in my company decided to get me a going away present. They decided on a full suit for future interviews. I thought it was exciting. Today was the day we were to go shopping for it. I went with Patti, Burt's Personal Assistant. She headed to Northpark and we went from there.

Well after we were done is when I became speechless. I realized she had just paid 800 dollars in one shopping trip all for me. Nice clothes. But oh my gosh, why in the world is $800 necessary. We could have bought some other less expensive equally nice clothes and have money left over. I still don't know what to say. I'm weirded out. One outfit in my closet is worth more than all the other clothes I own. That is too scary. They are too rich.

A bit bored

2004-07-28T14:49:00.000-05:00

Well, I am at work and I am taking a break because the company I was supposed to be analyzing has done something weird with their books. OOh, I found color. I didn't know I had color. Cool!!!

Okay, so I hadn't noticed the many buttons up at the top of this entry form. I must have been in a hurry, or as distracted as always.

I want to know where I will be living next semester, I still have no clue. I hope I get the letter soon because, I'm getting desperate. If I got the apartment, I need to buy a few things. If I didn't then I need to get myself ready to live in a place without a kitchen again, this means many many more disgustingly depressing meals. If by some miracle we get the apartment (my roommates and I) then I want to buy pots and pans and spoons and cooking stuff. OOOH. And I need to talk to them about what we want to put in the living room. I'm excited.

This bit is the most exciting, I think. At work yesterday, my boss told me that he wanted me to work here next summer. And not only that summer but the summer after that and then he is willing to offer me a job when I graduate. Now, I'm not sure I want to go into accounting when I graduate but isn't it awesome that I already have a place where I could have a job if I wanted it. It made me really excited. He said I was probably the smartest intern he had ever had. I thought that was a bit over the top but he said it and it makes me excited and happy that putting forth my best effort is worth something.

This would have to be my favorite color out of all of them and I'm getting excited about going back. My mom, my aunt, and my cousing are going with me and we are leaving the 9th of September. I don't even have to register until the 17. I can't start moving in until the 11th. They are going to leave on the 14th. It's going to be a lot of fun.

I'll have more to post later.

Sorry about all the colors. I got excited.

Homework Time

2004-07-20T14:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm still at work. but my two boss men each gave me a project that they thought would take hours. So they went on to their meetings and when I started working on them, I was done with both tasks in two hours. Now I have nothing to do. So, since I don't want to go home and come back for class, then I'm going to do my homework for the week. That's cool enough. and I'll be done with it. I played in a softball tournament on Sunday and it was really cool and my team won (not thanks to me), I didn't hit a single ball. I still had fun though. And I went to the Ranger's game on Saturday and that was really cool. It was a great game.

Umm. Right now I'm reading a couple of books

I'm reading all the Grimm's tales. I think they're really cool and gruesome.
I'm reading Dante's Divine Comedy. It's supposed to be essential. The first few pages weren't that great but then it got fun.
And I'm also reading Against All Enemies by Richard Clarke. (this one is the most entertaining so far).

Oh and class is going great. It's getting complicated which is really cool.

Hello!!!

2004-07-07T16:52:00.000-05:00

Okay. I just got out of work and I'm about to leave for my first day of accounting class at el centro. Exciting!!! I still adore my job and tomorrow. My boss set up this weird deal where I get to go work with the Figure skating competition in Frisco this weekend and get paid by the office. It is so cool. I got my first pay check, for the first two weeks of work and it's half of my total earnings last summer. I feel like I didn't earn it because my parents don't make that much nor anyone else I know and it's not like I do anything strenuous. I do tax returns and accounting forms and make copies of stuff and enter information into excel. It's just so weird. I don't know if it's the Harvard name, or college in general, or just God's blessings. I don't know. But I have to go take the train...

By the way Mr. Locke I would still love to go to lunch. I haven't talked to Ana but she was going to go to mexico for a few weeks.

AT WORK

2004-06-28T14:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm at work and I have a short break so I'm posting. Weekend was great. I was down at the MFA on sunday. It is soo cool. I'm going back next Sunday to finish looking at the exhibits (I ran out of time the last time). Don't have much else to say.

Ooooh. My mommy made tamales, I can't wait to go home.

Hello

2004-06-22T22:20:00.000-05:00

Hey I'm cool too Carlos. I'm blogging now. My job is going great. I love what I'm doing. It's just like accounting class at Sunset except it's for real clients and huge companies. It's so awesome. I've been reconciling accounts. Unfortunately, I can't say more cause it's confidential but it's really cool stuff.

I had to get new clothes for work because I can't wear jeans and my clothes do not fit me anymore. Get this. I went from a size 7 to a size 11. That's more than 1 size bigger. I feel a bit bad because I had to waste so much money but I'm happy with my weight. 132 lbs, in case anyone's wondering. It's actually only 15 heavier than I was before college but apparently 15 pounds more brings you to an 11.

Okay, I have to go now. Blog later. And yes nazir we can talk. but leave me a post or email as to when. Mrs. Grimes, I'm sorry we didn't go to lunch that Friday but when can we get together? Byebye

FINALLY!!!

2004-06-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

I know. I know. I haven't updated in forever. almost a month. one sunset blogger has even visited me and rubbed it in my face and threatened me. i won't say his name **murmurs under breath** CARLOS!!

SO. News-
I Have a job. downtown. and it's awesome. and i get paid more than what's fair.

I signed up to take a class at el centro (accounting) because i'm working at an accounting firm and it seemed like a good thing to do. I'm only going to work 30 hours a week.

OH. and the other day. last friday to be exact. i visited the public library downtown and it turns out i have a (don't scream at me!) $107 fine. It is insane. and i've had that for about 3 years. because this one time we moved i packed library books in a box with my personal books and then forgot about them. when i unpacked that box 4 or 5 months later i found 6 library books, long overdue. I just returned them and forgot about them. and i never visited the library again.
until now. and i can't check anything out. it's so sad. *tears

oh. and timothy's in new mexico. on vacation with his family.

and. and Mayra has a boyfriend and selene has a boyfriend. and i'm not allowed to say their names on public websites. anyway. (i roll my eyes at both of them)

and i've started scrapbooks for my sisters and myself and it's taking forever. but i'm enjoying it.

anyway. i want to go to sleep. i'll try to blog soon. no promises.

I'M GOING HOME!!!!

2004-05-28T11:37:00.000-05:00

I just got out of my last exam. I am so entirely happy! My first year at Harvard is over and I didn't die, I actually made it. I still can't believe it. I am also done packing and in about one hour I will head to the airport. I've had enough of Harvard life, for a while at least. I don't know what to do, it feels so great to be done. And as I was taking my exam I realized that a 3 hour exam is not that long anymore.

I am so glad to be done. I won't get home until 11pm but that's fine with me as long as I get there. Harvard was awesome but I'm glad to be going home to people that are not worried and dying over studying and exams. I want to see Ana and Mrs. Grimes and my mommy and Mayra and Selene and Diana "Lady D" and Timothy and my cousins and aunts and uncles. And I want to take a bath, I am tired of showers in a 3'x3' cubicle thingy. And I want spicy food. And I want to wear shorts and a shirt in June. Here, I have on a windbreaker and it's still cold. Boston has its downfalls. Anyway, I have to finish clearing my room. I'll be home soon.

Update!

2004-05-25T16:01:00.000-05:00

Okay! yay! I'm done with 3/4 exams and I am studying for the next. I am also packing very eagerly. yaY!!! and I am excited to be going home soon. I also hope and pray I do well on this last exam. The weather was gorgeous until like 2 days ago when it dropped into the 50's with rain all day and all night. My roommate, Kathleen finished packing and she is complaining about her exams. Rachel is done and she's going home Thursday and Nan is on her way to China. I'm not done packing and I'm not done with exams but I am ready to be done with Harvard. I'll do some mor talking later. Bye.

2004-05-24T17:02:00.000-05:00

This is my next door neighbor who already left for Minnessota. I miss her. Anyway. yeah. this was a funny pic.

Procrastination!!!

2004-05-24T08:59:00.000-05:00

This is the nice view from my window that helps me daydream for hours. By the Way, I've only got one exam left and it's on Friday. I'm going to party like it's 1985. And by that I mean that I'm going to go into the square and walk and spin and skip and them I'm going to run back to the dorm and study so I can ace this exam. My other exams have gone so well that I'm scared. Scared that it was all a trick but we'll see. I finished my last essay (except for the last exam we have to write 3) and I am very very happy. Weeeeeh. hehehe. Hmm. I should get to work. I need to do laundry too.

2004-05-24T08:55:00.000-05:00

My Crazy roommates and I, not studying. But we are close to finished packing.

2004-05-20T08:50:00.000-05:00

Ok. that is what our dining hall looks like on the outside. I'll go study now, I wasted 33 minutes. Wish me luck and send your prayers. please??

2004-05-20T08:48:00.000-05:00

Our dining hall and my other roommate.

2004-05-20T08:47:00.000-05:00

This is my dorm.

It's Broken

2004-05-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

My blog seems to be broken and I don't know how to fix it. I was messing with the template sometime last week but I thought it hadn't done anything. I guess it did. Oh well, I don't have time to fix it now. Sorry. If anyone can help, let me know. sad sad sad.

YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

2004-05-17T13:52:00.000-05:00

I just got the new Norah Jones CD. I love it.

I am also diligently studying for my exams, the first one is Thursday. I am not panicking, just losing my mind. I hope all the seniors are having fun and that all the other students do well on exams, if they haven't already taken them. Good luck and my sympathies to all the teachers who still have grading to do. Oh, and all of my paper have worked out, not all of them well, but at least I finished them.

Yay! Another paper done.

2004-05-13T04:24:00.000-05:00

Woooh. I stayed up so long to finish the paper that as I am typing the sun is rising. It is already daylight!!! Hooray! I want to get up early more often, it looks so beautiful. It kind of makes me feel that staying up until now is not only rewarding because of the finished paper but also because I could see the beautiful sunrise. Anyway, I should get a few hours of sleep before continuing with more work, a research paper. Plus, I haven't worked at the library yet this week. I have to hurry up.

Panic Time

2004-05-05T11:39:00.000-05:00

Aaaaah!!! Presentation in 1 hour 20 minutes over Chagas disease and the conflicts between western medicine practices and the ethnomedicine of the Kallawaya indigenous people of Bolivia.

Paper to write that is due today at Midnight because I got an extension. Panic!!! Panic!!! Haven't even started.

Tired. Very tired. Stayed up until 5am to finish paper for another class and then got up at 8am. Tired. Very Tired.

The weird thing is that even though I have all those things to do besides my usual weekly homework. I feel great and quite relaxed. Should I worry or be happy because my ability to cope with stressful situations has improved. I really don't know but I should get to work. This has been a posting from the short, little, Harvard Mexican, freshman who could not understand why she wasn't stressed. (sorry I kind of plagiarized that, but I thought it was funny).

Gone so long . . .

2004-05-03T23:07:00.000-05:00

Ok. I've been gone forever. I know. I'm sorry. Could you all ever forgive me?

Hmm. Update. Library work gets better as seniority increases. most temporary workers only last 3-4 months I'm on the 6th. yay!!! preferential treatment. hehehe.

I've got G-mail! of course, only because everyone was doing it, no I wouldn't jump off a cliff with them. email me at cpuga07 @ gmail.com. no spaces.

oh, i got the new sasser worm. it wasn't fun, but my computer is now off IV fluids and not contagious.

I got to host 4 prefrosh over the last weekend. they were cool, one was from Dallas. I put on my charm and tried to convince them they should come to Harvard so they could be cool like me.

Oh, my last day of classes is friday. but then i have to study for two or three weeks and then take exams.

Good luck on AP Tests, to everyone.

Have to go write a paper that is due tomorrow.

Fire Alarm! It's almost time for class

2004-04-22T11:33:00.000-05:00

Okay so the fire alarm went of today and I had to go outside and I was barely awake and I had to pull my next door neighbor out of bed because she doesn't wear her hearing aids to bed. It was a bit funny (because it was a false alarm). We kept thinking about our precious laptops and my new printer drenched in water from the sprinklers. "the horror". but nothing happened and we got in an hour later.

Oh, everyone welcome Mrs. Chaffe, she is totally awesome. also note, by the way, that my inner child is 6 years old. hehehe

Oh, yeah, classes are going ok. Not perfect because I keep having to finish essays, response papers, and reading at 4am. Not fun, that is the reason I have been absent from the blogging world. I'm trying to get back, it's just so hard. . . don't worry that's just me whining.

Oh the greatest thing about this week has been the beautiful weather. My blockmates and I are spending all of daylight minus eating times and class doing homework in the yard. It is so beautiful. 60 degrees is perfect weather.

OOOOOOOh my roommate taught me how to play catch. It was awesome and next time we are going to try batting. The goal is to sometime end in playing softball, but that will take a while. After all when she handed me a glove (we are both right-handed), I said "wow, it goes on your left hand, how does that work?" It was quite funny.

Okay, I have to go. I have to shower before I go to class.

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"- Ecclesiastes 12:1

Guilt and Remorse

2004-04-15T15:00:00.000-05:00

I have the weirdest sense of guilt at this moment. I have a class that starts at 2:30 and the professor had a medical emergency and wouldn't be here all week. The TF was supposed to take over like she did on Tuesday but today at 2:54 she still wasn't there and with a class vote it was decided we would all walk out within the next minute. And it happened. I was the last one to leave; I felt pangs of guilt as I remembered the same occurrences in high school. Even now, almost one hour later I still feel a bit of remorse but the rule on campus is 10 minutes after the allowed 10 for tardiness and we left 15minutes after the allowed 10. Yet, even knowing that fact, I can't shake the feeling of guilt.

I should go. I spent the extra time I had from class on blogging now I have to go to my Immigration section. I'll see if I have anything to post about later. Mr. Locke and Timothy think they had a debate going on. I've read at least three of the most important books on the arguments for and against immigration as well as heard 5 hours worth of lecture by one of the expert sociologist on immigration. Plus I've had to debate the issues for a while in section. If only I liked debating I might challenge them on that. But I’ll let them take pleasure in what they enjoy.

My Adventure

2004-04-15T14:59:00.000-05:00

Last night I got so frustrated with my lack of attention to my response paper that I decided to do something a bit weird. Timothy was asleep so I couldn't bother him not unless I was going to sleep cause then he gets offended if I don't say goodnight. Guys. **rolling eyes. Just kidding. But I was bored. So I tried to find someone on aim to chat with at 1am and there was no one. At least no one sane. So I chose this one name that had been on my list for over a year and whose real identity was a mystery to me. I started out the conversation with “Do you mind if I ask who you are? You've been on my list forever and I can't figure it out." He was a bit shocked by my question and could only answer "hello?” I was laughing like I was insane but I was very intrigued about who it could be. I'll spare ya'll the rest of the details it turned out to be someone from Dallas who I've never met but he is a student at El Centro and happens to know my other best friend Diana. Maybe it was her doing. I'll never know. I called her and she denied any responsibility but she did acknowledge his existence as her study buddy. Weird. But I figured it out due to my wonderful investigating techniques and sheer boredom.

RAD You just never know!

2004-04-15T14:15:00.000-05:00

The funniest moment of this week was when Timothy had tried calling me and I didn't answer until at least 4 hours later and he knew I didn't have a class. He was a bit upset. Heheheh. Then my explanation didn't make him feel much better either. I was taking a class on rape agression defense. He asked me the reason. and I responded, "In case I have to defend myself from you" It turned into an issue of trust. I trust him and my friends too, you just never know. And it's better to be prepared than suffer the consequences. And as they say "Disable and Escape".

Who knows what's going on?

2004-04-15T13:05:00.000-05:00

Not. Me. I have no clue what's different about today besides the fact that it's cold, at least relative to yesterday. But definitions of cold and warm all depend on relativity, if I was in Texas I'd be clad in a jacket and shivering but here a light sweater was enough to keep me more than warm. The weather channel says its 45 degrees, go figure.

Hmm. My cousin found my blog on the internet and I placed a link to hers on the left [She goes by the name: Vickie because that is her name.(this is the point where you're supposed to laugh at my non funny jokes)]. She's a student at the University of Dallas.

Hmm. Life has been busy. I have two papers due next week, if I wasn't killing myself now, I would die then. But I'm trying. I turned in a rough draft to one of my TFs today; we'll see what she says (hopefully something good). I also have an abstract due for my crazy research paper on Chagas disease sometime this week. (Slowly but surely going insane)

I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me. He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me; Selah God sends his love and his faithfulness.

FOUR DAYS

2004-04-12T18:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, in four days I had forgotten my username for this blog. I am totally ashamed. Hmm. Life has been good. I wasn't able to go to the poetry reading b/c it's 3 hours long and I have homework to do. How I wish I could go. *sigh. Anyway, I have to get back to work. I have two essays due next week and the reading is all to be done this week. I'm tired. . . . . Oh, yeah, I'm blogging.

Easter weekend was awesome. The Christian fellowship group got together and made dinner , it was delicious. OH, they opened this taqueria on the next block. I tried it today and it was AWESOME. They are authentic and their hot sauce is incredible as is their agua de orchata. It was delicious, I am definitely going again.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. IF anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. Rev 3:20

Poetry Reading

2004-04-08T19:22:00.000-05:00

Yay! Blog time. I think I really enjoy this whole blog thing, I had never really given it a chance.

Well, for one thing, I'm tired. Wednesday night and Thursday morning leave me exhausted. They take all my energy and turn it into mush. Friday, on the other hand, is the beginning of a day of rest, Saturday. **Sigh**

Classes were awesome. Immigration is once again the topic of discussion. In one hour we were asked to develop a policy that could be implemented in immigration. The conclusion, much like Massey's in his book Beyond Smoke and Mirrors: Mexican Immigration in an Era of Economic Integration was that immigration can not actually be controlled because of all the people desperate to enter. What must be done is a documentation of all the immigrants, not to discriminate or assault ( though that will certainly be a consequence, one we couldn't find a solution to) but to keep record. To not loose control of the country, a thing which many fear. My idea was to somehow convince the government to invest in other countries, not for the benefit of the U.S. but of the people of the country (not government). When conditions improve in other countries the U.S. won't be as widely attractive to immigrants because they will be better satisfied and fulfilled by their own country. We also ridiculed IRCA 1986 as only a temporary repair to illegal immigration. We like that it led to the documentation of 3 million people but we also liked that it led to further legal entry into the country by family members (there is no restriction towards family). It only led to more immigration, which many Americans don't want. Okay, next subject.

Oh, cool poet, Carlos German Belli, is coming here next Monday. I can't wait. I absolutely love his poems and he is one of the most important poets of Latin America, Peru to be exact, the plus is that he is still alive. Funny! One of my favorite poems is

Rather than take sweet human form
Rather than take sweet human form,
why did my elders not exist
like a stone, like an elm, like a stag,
which, it seems, are not plagued by sense
and never to the other say:
"do not stray from this safe grove,
in which you understand
whence the bitter north wind blows, and whither the south."

It's a translation and yet still so beautiful. I am so excited to go to the poetry reading. That was about all. Now I have to go study.

He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Ps. 23:3

They want to get rid of ME

2004-04-07T18:36:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I don't think they seriously do, but part of lecture (American Society and Public Policy) was about the problems with illegal immigration. Apparently every year in congress they try to pass bills so that you can't automatically be a citizen if you are born in the U.S. In other words, my parents are illegal so I can't be legal, even if I was born and raised here. This one girl during lecture kept giving me weird looks and even rolled her eyes. It was really spooky but I'm over it. I'm proud of where I came from and they haven't gotten rid of me yet. They can try all they want to, but I'm going to put up a fight. Okay so no one is really trying to get rid of me specifically. I'm just being a bit silly.

Classes were great once again. I learned what goes on in the body of an asthmatic and during an asthma attack. Sounds bad. Really bad. Did anyone know that on one of Brazil's bills (money) they have the picture of the dude who discovered the Chagas disease as well as the life cycle of this so called parasite that causes it. Totally weird and all we get is Jefferson. Just kidding, I have nothing against American designs on their dollar bills. Yet, you have to admit that other countries have a bit more of creativity.

Well Wednesday is my least favorite day of the week. I always have so much work due at 11:59 pm and I never want to do it. I will, don't worry. I just hate doing it. Oh, yeah. I have to make my plan of study. Meaning write down all the courses I want to take in my desired concentration. I think I'm going to do Sociology so we'll see how that goes. Pray for me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

My Great-grandfather fought with Pancho Villa

2004-04-06T15:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so today was another of those days where I wake up right before I have to go to class. However, unlike yesterday, class today started at 1pm. I got up at about 12:45. hehehe. Sorry, I'm still as lazy as ever, when it comes to getting up in the morning. The good thing was that I had actually finished all my studying last night, so I didn't have any to do this morning.

Anyway, In my Chinese Literature course we are now going over Song Dynasty literature. I think I like the Tang better. The Song get too caught up in empirical data, and the women's dresses are a bit too low cut, and people think that started recently. Anyway, this is the dynasty that almost all the western world associates with being Chinese. Oh, I am ANGRY. My TF still hasn't graded my paper that I turned in three weeks ago. Come on! I'm anxiously awaiting my sentence and she is taking her time. It's driving me crazy. Sure, I should be patient, I know she has a life, but I really want to know how I did. a;lsdhg;adskhfj (my frustration exhibited in gibberish).

However, the funniest part of my day was in my Latin American Studies class. We are discussing the Mexican Revolution and of course we were going to touch on the "All Worthy" Pancho Villa. I, of course, had to bring up how my great-grandfather fought with Pancho Villa and the class was very impressed. I didn't stop to tell them that half the northern Mexican population can claim the same thing. They don't have to know. Besides, what they don't know won't hurt them. hehehe. It was just . . . just funny. Oh, by the way, for those of you who don't know besides the September 11th thing, Pancho Villa is the only foreigner to have invaded, attacked, and killed Americans inside American borders. That's a different story, though. I was however intrigued with how long it's been since 1994. And that was brought to my attention because we were talking about Sub-comandante Marcos and his beliefs and actions. I just didn't realize it had been so long. And while my family is not as poor as the peasants he was and will probably continue to fight, I do not oppose nor criticize him. Someone has to do it. And it is very unlikely the Mexican Government will ever realize they need to change unless someone makes them. Okay, enough politics. I always get caught up in that, that's what Harvard does to you.

Anyway, I need a shower. (didn't need to know that? hehehe) Then, it's time to go eat dinner. Hasta luego.

But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

Back at Harvard

2004-04-05T13:00:00.000-05:00

Wow, I got back to my dorm at about 12:30 last night and of course I was starving. So, I ate Campbell's chicken noodle soup and a bunch of Doritos with cheese dip. How else could I have gained the 18 lbs since I got to college?

Anyway, first day back at Harvard, great day, but as usual I hated getting up for classes. Monday is always the worst. I got up at 10:46 and made it to class right at 11:03 as the professor was starting. Hurray for living on campus!!

Anyway, my American Society and Public Policy class is more interesting than before I left. It turns out the question to be debated is Immigration and I'm reading this really interesting book called Beyond Smoke and Mirrors: Mexican Immigration in an Era of Economic Integration turns out people are scared of all of us Mexicans taking over their country. And this really weird dude Samuel P. Huntington who happens to be a professor in the Government department at Harvard says that:

"The persistent inflow of Hispanic immigrants threatens to divide the United States into two peoples, two cultures, and two languages. Unlike past immigrant groups, Mexicans and other Latinos have not assimilated into mainstream U.S. culture, forming instead their own political and linguistic enclaves—from Los Angeles to Miami—and rejecting the Anglo-Protestant values that built the American dream. The United States ignores this challenge at its peril". http://www.foreignpolicy.com/story/cms.php?story_id=2495

And well I don't exactly agree , actually I totally disagree. Yes, we tend to hold on to our language and our culture but so did everyone else who emigrated to the United States, how else do we speak English and not some Native American Tongue. The people who are scared of the Latino culture don't even try to understand it. Why should we have to completely assimilate into the American Culture. I agree that we should learn the language and learn the ways of America but we don't exactly have to take on all of them as our own. Everyone should add onto their lives from the experiences they have and the people they meet. And the worries about their being another official language is just insecurity, there are many countries where the average person speaks at least 3 languages, we are the ones who are behind.

Let's face it, as long as things don't get much better in Mexico, there will always be immigrants legal or not legal. That goes for almost all the rest of the countries that seem to export people to the United States. I'm tired of thinking of that, though I am waiting for Huntington's new book Who Are We: The Challenges to America's National Identity to come out. He knows what he is talking about in terms of statistics and results, I just don't think most of them are bad things for the U.S.

Well I've used up all my free time on blog, so I have to get back to studying, like any other good Harvard Student. hehehe.

I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars. I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. Isaiah 45:2,3